Always Be My Babies

My babies! Where did the time go?

Mr. Mayor and the artist during career day in school. Lance was confused whether he wanted to be a president or a mayor but settled on being a mayor instead. According to him, he wants to take care of a city. He actually wanted to be an astronaut but after seeing the movie Gravity, let's just say he changed his mind. Next thing I know, he's telling me he wants to be a pilot. Kids and their dreams!

Leila on the other hand wants to be an artist (sometimes a nurse) or sometimes nothing (lol!)

Lance just turned 9. No birthday party this time around (he chose cash!) We surprised him with pizza and watched a movie.

Sweet Leila! Beware though she's got the temper of a bull. She likes to dress up more than five times per day. She likes to make a mess and she isn't a morning person (ugh!)

Definitely a daddy's girl!!!

Loves cooking with mommy.

Lance goofing around for the camera. This picture was sent to me by his friend's mom.

They love to play after school. Most of the time they take so long and I start to worry (ugh!)

I always sit by the window and wait for them to come home.

:D

See You Again Soon

Ask me about grief and for sure I can tell you more about what it is now that I have experienced it. I will miss you Mommy. I won't dwell on the what if's but there are thousands going through my mind. Why too soon?

I know you are happy wherever you are right now. This takes away an ounce of burden in my heart, at least that's what I want to think. I would give anything to feel your presence, to say a proper good bye, to hug and kiss you for the last time. Is this even possible?

I am comforting myself with the many memories I have of you. I have no words to describe how much I miss you, Kuya and my nieces. I miss my childhood and the family we once had. But now all I could think of is the time I spent away from you and that if I could've done things differently. It is easy to distance oneself when your many miles away but I never stopped missing and loving you. Did you know that?

If I had known I won't see you anymore I would've hugged you tighter at the airport, I would've done things a thousand ways more different, if only I could bring back time.

I wouldn't let my guilt eat me but I will try to become a better mother for your grandchildren. You taught me everything about being a great Mom and hopefully I will live up to that. I will never be as hard working as you are, I can barely clean the house everyday, I don't iron clothes, both a NO NO for you. I have always wondered where you get the energy and the talent to make our home the cleanest and our table filled with the most delicious home cooked meals.

You raised Kuya and I the best way you can. It's always been the three of us. I remember us going to the movies, shopping, or all of us busy with whatever books we are reading at the moment. You sheltered us from life's cruel intentions as much as you could and no matter how much we failed, you were there for us, always to the rescue paying the bills, taking care of your grandchildren, etc.

It got me thinking if I had been a good daughter at least? I gave you so much heart aches and yet you never hated me. You got mad yes but in the end you always told me that life experiences are the best teachers. I never had to tell you what's bothering me, you've always known. You have a way of knowing what I am going through and I never had to explain myself to you. So many unspoken words but I know in my heart that you knew but I would've said it aloud if only I knew you were leaving.

I still can't process in my head that you are gone now. I don't think I have cried enough but I know you would want me to go on with my life and not get drowned by sorrow. Please don't get mad when you see me crying. I'm just a child pining for her mom. It gives me relief as the tears flow, it's not about being sad but also relieving all the memories we've had.

It only shows that time is our biggest enemy. I prayed and prayed for you to live a long life. I never once thought that you will go at a very young age. I wanted you to at least experience life at its best again, the way you deserve to live it. I'm so sorry I didn't get to see you again but I promise, you will forever live in our hearts. I will never forget you Mommy. I am what I am because of you. I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!

Halloween 2011

I got so wrapped up with Halloween and Leila's birthday. Two fun occasions but then again, enough to stress out mommy. Thank God for the treats, mommy's smiling again :D

The kids brought home several treats from school that day and since they're both wearing their costumes (Lance dressed up as a pilot and Leila as an elephant) already, we brought them to the mall where they did a bit of trick or treating receiving mostly suckers. I have never seen our mall jam packed as it was during Halloween. Kids and adults were all wearing costumes except me :D

We then proceeded to our friends' neighborhood before trick or treating in our neighborhood. The end result? So much sweets, chips and various treats. What's funny is that the kids didn't seem excited about the chocolates afterwards. I think they were more excited on the act of trick or treating itself. A few candies after and they're like ignoring everything. I had to sort them out and place on different canisters to differentiate all the candies.

The kids had so much fun that day, me too I guess, except for the very cold weather that night. Seeing the kids so energetic and excited about Halloween, hearing them shout trick or treat and the smile on their faces every time they got treats, so priceless! I can't wait for next Halloween :D

Stressful Mornings

my li'l monster

My most stressful days of the week are Tuesdays and Thursdays. These are the days when my youngest goes to school as well and it's not easy to wake her up (just like dad), feed and bathe. I feel like exploding when she goes into one of her tantrums and I couldn't make her eat, dress up nor even pee. How I manage to haul them both in school (on time) especially when we're walking is a miracle indeed.

Lance, always early like mom

My daughter, who's turning 4 in a week can be so excited about school at one point and then feel exactly the opposite in a snap. It is so stressful, words are not enough to describe how hectic our Tues/Thurs mornings are. I feel like I'm gonna have a heart attack one of these days. I hope not, I don't want my kids to miss school nor be late. Kidding aside, I guess I'm just freaked out by time itself. I hate being late, I am very conscious about time and my daughter's morning antics can cause a lot of delays. And since she's also stubborn, pushing her more into the right direction brings about the opposite reaction and she will refuse everything I expect her to do. I can only breathe a sigh of relief once I have signed her in in class and before I know it, it's time to pick her up.

Oh LIFE!!! Can you be kinder towards me? :D

Mom's Day Out

many thanks to Alex and Mac for the flowers

How's your Mother's day celebration? Did you get breakfast in bed? A day at a spa? or a romantic date?

Chinese takeout for dinner

I had an early one, it's not any of those I mentioned above but it was as good. While the kids were at our friend Jocelyn's house for a play date, hubby took me out shopping, then there was this delicious Japanese food to cap off my retail therapy. So on Mother's Day itself, I was faced with a mountain of clothes to fold and other chores. I guess there's no escaping the chores not even on this special day. No complaints, Moms gotta do what they gotta do no matter what day it is and that for me, is the essence of being a Mom, doing what they do best and for that, let us all give ourselves a pat on a back for being SUPER MOMS!

Happy Mother's Day!

I just attended my first Mother's Day Tea, with Lei in tow, we spent the afternoon watching Lance and his classmates perform various songs and the poems assigned to them. As if those cute presentations were not enough, the kids brought us back to their classroom and served us tea, cake and strawberries with whipped cream.

The kids also gave the moms flowers and pictures they drew. It was really sweet and it surely made my day. Lance not being shy throughout the presentation and his beautiful pictures are more than enough to make me a proud momma.

Being a mom may not be easy but it sure is the greatest and most fulfilling role ever. Happy Mother's day to my mom and to all the mothers out there!!!

Sweetest Babies

Lance opened the door for me when I got home and he gave me the tightest, warmest and longest hug ever! My baby boy missed me so much while I was out. I didn't notice Lei was sleeping and when she woke up, I got a lot of embraces from my sweet girl too.

Now, why would I want to be out all by myself and leave my babies at home? I know, so I'll get more tight and sweet hugs from them again and wet kisses too!

A Valuable Lesson for a 6 yr. old

Lance with Mommy

Mommy with her grandchildren

Lance, from what I've observed is quite over his sweet stage towards us. Gone are the days that he'd cuddle up and shower us kisses publicly but he still does that from time to time, only in private and by request. But he does have good memory and frequently tells us what he remembers when he was still small, mostly stories when we were still in the Philippines. He remembers his toys, his yellow trike, the guard at PNB, our pedicab rides, our trips to Trabajo market, eating fishball, our old apartment, etc. but sometimes his memory of Mom whom he calls 'Iya' is fading. The other day he told me he can't remember Mom anymore and I asked him if he wants me to show him a picture and he said "I'll just close my eyes and I'll see her." He gets so sad and teary eyed when he forgets how my Mom looks like. I told him once that when you love a person, even if you don't see him/her, keep them in your heart forever, keep them close so that you'll always remember and that you never ever forget a person you love. At his young age, I know he understands and I also know that what I said to him will serve as a valuable lesson to him. I don't mind losing his sweet personality as he grows up because I know his sensitivity will pave way for a much better Lance in the future.

Precious Moments

tidying up a bit while Lance is in school

I love those hours that Lance is in school, I do miss him but I know he's happy in school and that is such a huge relief for me. I just make the most out of those few hours and get busy (with unfinished chores) but before I could do any of these, I make sure first that my little girl is busy or those few hours will just pass, and I hate it when I don't get some things done.

busy playing Boowa and Kwala

It's the same thing when Lei is asleep. I get to spend some quality time with Lance, we eat together, or just cuddle up together in front of the TV.

My whole day basically revolves around these two. There maybe less quiet times or some 'Me' time but who cares? Having them around keeps me going, keeps my blood pressure up and my vocal chords exercised.

Repost: A Mother's Love

Lance

Leila

Children are gifts sent from above.
They bring not only joy but a sense of innocence and truthfulness.
Seeing them for the first time is the best experience a mother could ever have.
It will be forever planted in my memory.
My children...my life...
I could never imagine myself without them.
When problems arise, you know you couldn't give up because of them.
They make you rise when your down...
They make you fight when you're losing...
They give you hope when everything else seems hopeless...
They are the reason why I get up each morning and why I'm forever thankful to Him.
If only they would stay as babies...
Forever needing me...
& loving me...
But I know, they will always love me
because from the moment they were born...
every second, every minute...
my love
has given them life...
has nourished them...
It will never end...
because, a Mother's love...
is one of God's greatest creations.

Lance with Mommy

Leila with Mommy